Friday, February 29, 2008

Minus or plus? :S

Hello my children!! hehe..yes im gonna start saying that on my blog too :P guys im having my first not-so-happy single moment which im happy that i didnt come early but 2mnths later..well almost 3 mnths but anyhu xD
so im not missing a guy or am feeling alone...thats not me anymore..i dont do that cos i find it offence..but hekk i dont not feeling like "me" atm..i dont think it has anything to do with my single life but hekk i dont feel like im myself feeling quite left out cos i dont no were i shuld be..i mean thats been coming to me for a while now but hekk...i dont no my place and were God wants me to work..and i no he wants me to work cos he keeps sending ppl at me..and i love i honestly love it...i just love helping ppl so much!!! but hekk i dont no...there is something so not right with me atm...i think i no wat it is but cant rlly say it cos i dont no how :S hehe all i ask from u is ur prayers...just pray for me to focus and concentrate pls :D...
On a nicer note..hehe..i finished my mocs :D WOOOT!! hehe and and D MIME CAME AMAZING!!!!!!!! it was so weird...for d first time ever...all i did during d mime was PRAY and it was so cool...d only thing i remember i was doing was tearing Zoe's t-shirt cos it wouldnt come off xD otherwise..i dont think it was me...i dont remember walking..i dont no how i did! cos my shoe was sliding off but hekk it just went it to place somehow...i feel like some1 was totally guiding me :D hehe so cool..guys we hv to work for God cos He really wants us to and its so cooooooooool!!!! :D hehe
anyhu i leave u children!!...i post pretty video for u to enjoy..
p.s...d drummer looks like gruppetta over here xD

for d lyrics...which i never read...but ill read now ...

Signing out with working cuddles and blessings!!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Motherly love :)

Hello my lovely coming up with d weirdest blog aren't i xD..well its cos of d reason that im about to write...well do u remember my post on was bout how im gonna take my time as single as an adventure.(d last one of jan. 4 those hu arent frequent readers)..well till then its been one amazing adventure...

1.)ive helped loads of ppl
2.)getting closer to discovering my calling
3.)learning how to put others be4 me
4.)got a new hrt :D
5.)realised some things that need changes *kisses*
6.)made new friends and got old friends bk
7.)gained convidence and lost some pride
d list goes on xD but this weekend i discovered something new motherly love hehe...well...rem. how i was last week with slum i couldnt sleep cos i was so worried bout d slummers and how every moment i was able to go c them i was there??...well this week something happened as well..u c i realised that im not coming to d first 2 lenten talks :( so i wont b seeing d dance so i went to c their rehersals on sat. and be4 i went i was all excited as if i was a mother going to c her child perform at their first concert or something..n wen i went there and just saw them dancing i felt so proud of each and every person there!!! and its so amazing!! and like all throughout this weekened youths have been coming up to me with their queries and problems n situations n stuff and i just enjoyed helping them and worry bout them and praying for them...n for any1 reading this hu i tried helping this that im praying 4 u!!! and its so weird cos like this weekend some1 rlly hurt me(d person should no hu they r n if they dont they r stupid xD) and its weird cos ive grown quite close this person over d months and hekk even though they hurt soon as they told me they were not ok i worried and i 4got all bout y they hurt me and all i wanted to do was help in everyway possible...i felt like d person was one of my children..but its weird cos i dont want kids..i dont want a family..but Jesus is making me think otherwise xD n its weird cos i dont worry but since i got my new hrt ive really started worrying bout ppl n loving them more hehe...and like even today..ive felt down all day cos i felt helpless cos of d fact that i cant go help set up at d church for d talks or go help be4 d talks cos of mocks...these exams r getting in d way of me helping!!! GRRRRR!! i wanna help with everything and every1...its like i have all this urge in d world to just help n love its killing me!! hehe and its such a motherly feeling hekk...atm im seeing every1 as my children and its so cute :) hehe...u must probably think im totally mad...but this journey is quite funny and im happy that i can share it with u ppl hehe :)

Signing off with motherly cuddles and blessings xxx

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

King of Hearts??

Hey i no d pic is sucky but i dont got a scanner so bear with it...i drew it hehe...dont tell me how gud it is pls...i dont wanna hear it cos ill get all proud n i dont want that..i did it to explain something and to thank God for doing something for me :) hehe so...d reason for this pic is cos this weekend i gave my hrt to Jesus it all started on Friday night at after a little time of worship n reflection i decided i need to open my bible but i was like im not gonna just randomly open it im gonna look for something and then find something i find first i looked up giving then surrendering and then im like wait no! im having problems with affairs of d hrt atm so ill look up hrt..and i found giving ur hrt to Jesus and i was like cool ill read it...and basically it sed how we shuold give our hrt up and stuff and i was like ye cool i need to do so sick of all this confusion i need a fresh start i was there look at d Eucharist and im thinking..ok..hrm.."God i wanna do this but i kinda dont no how" and i stayed looking in d bible to try n find a clue and im like ok..i cant figure it out...and i got frustrated so i went outside for some fresh air cos i was also hungry so then i decided to go eat with a few others...i wanted to get some help on this one so like i asked Achie then Zoe n then Bob...n like ach sed to just say it and Zoe sed like imagine ur giving it and Bob sed just do it xD
so insomma sat. night came and d plan was to go to d slum at 6 spend time with them and then at 6.30 make my way up to y4j with some others...but d thing is at 7 d archbishop was coming n like i wanted to c Him and so i did hehe..n then Bex gave us a lift up to y4j and i was worried that they would hv finished worship n i wouldnt be able to give my hrt on Sat...but luckily worship was extra long that day..n like i went to d bk and i sat down a bit and just started talking to God and stuff and like then im like i wanna get up and WORSHIP cos God is i got up and i started worshiping and then i just started imagining a bit...and i imagined my hrt like all dirty n blkened and bruised and i imagined myself taking it out and giving it up and like then i imagine God hugging me...and hekk at that moment i got a rush of tinglyness in my hands and hekk it went up my arms and i just couldnt help but spread my hand as far as possible in praise and it was just amazing..i cnt even describe it! just so amazing i truly felt God's Love....and thats how i gave my hrt to Jesus hehe....n they say God isnt real?!?! PFFT!! XD off

Signing out with heartful cuddles n blessings! xxx

Sunday, February 17, 2008

To mission or not to mission??

Hey guys...Slum survivors over and all the slummers r either asleep or having a nice wanted warm shower d time which i spent with them it occured to me that all i wanted to do was help out. i mean i went everyday and made it a point to stay for a while and hekk i rly enjoyed just being with the slummers hehe....and d thing is at night i couldn't help but think bout how they r doing and if they r ok..infact im dead tired cos i didnt sleep well these past 2 nights, i was actually thinking of staying with them last night cos Cara had suggested it XD...and insomma it occured to me like if i enjoyed helping them and stuff like that y have i never considered any form of missionary work and stuff like that?.well probably cos i cant live without so much food..not cos like omg i cant live..but cos i hv a low blood pressure and if i dont hv a swt or something every so often ill faint or feel horrible basically..and probably another reason would be that i get sick rlly quickly..and i dont think ill survive w/o a proper bathroom xD hehe i pee too much xD ask my school friends and theyll tell u how much i pee XD guys pray 4 me...God knows wats gonna happen ta..its just i havent recieved and sms' from Him telling me wat gonna happen XD hehe
Well i think im off to sleep now cos im dead tired and im falling asleep on d keyboard xD...well sleep until my baby cousin comes over and starts screaming in my ear xD hehe

Signing out with tired cuddles and blessings

Thursday, February 14, 2008


Hello my loves..well i must obviously say Happy Valentine's day or S.A.D hehe..that makes me laugh and also a BIG SHOUT OUT to PAWS!!! Happy bday pupa!! mwa!!...well i want to start off with saying something bout valentine's day...ur probably gonna think im gonna moan bout it..but actually i am but not in d way u think...well i think valentine's day is rlly swt and i think its rlly swt for couple u hekk and like i dont feel all sad and stuff cos im single...i mean imbilli...u day im not gonna be single and ill be enjoying d day y d hell r so many ppl depressed today!?!? i mean day ull be loving this feast like just ignore it...its not that much of a big deal rlly...single or watever...

also... i want to encourage ALL OF YOU to go visit d baystreet slum this weekend hehe which will be on d roof of bay...its running through d whole weekend..d event is called Slum survivor..and a few of y4j's youths r gonna be living in slum conditions on d roof of baystreet...and all this is to save money for d ppl in Kenya so go with ur money box :D XD other new (yes im being a journalist XD) IN THE HOUSE!!! is coming up...i.e..d Y4J lenten talks r running from the 25th Feb till 1st March form 8-9...rlly amazing guys!!! seriously...and get 7euros with u to buy y4j's first album hehe!! :D and also d mime will be taking place on d thurs of d lenten talks so probably community ppl wont come c it cos of annointing XP meanies!! XP hehe

i dont think there is any other news...ah yes...there is d healing service in Qrendi on 7.30 :D hehe...and other than that..i dont think anything else...ok so thats it i think :S PRAY PRAY PRAY cos God is doing big things atm :D BIG BIG BIG...guys EXPECT BIG!!!!

Signing out with BIG cuddles and blessings xxx

Monday, February 11, 2008


Hey guys and girls!! well 4 those hu know me well enough..ur gonna be amased or think im crying wolf..and for those hu dont know me much this is a chance for u to get to know me...
so..ur probably thinking oh God kai feels liek getting off..or somthing like that well ur wrong!!...its actually something so diff!
so lately i ve been thinking bout getting off but not wanting it but understanding d meaning of it and how God wanted us to use it...and how ive used it in such a wrong way
ok so basically there isnt any point of hiding it...last yr i went kiss-crazy and hit d record of guys i got off not vry proud of it but i did it..mhemmx tamel..and i mean last yr my mind was revolved alot (until soul survivor) around kissing and like most of my goal for 2007 were getting off with diff. ppl or in diff. ways...and wen i look bk and i think i actually suceeded i feel sick at myself...and think have i rlly just wasted this precious thing that God gave us?...i mean no offence to any1 i kissed ta xD dont take it personal...but far as i can recall in d yr 2007 i got off with around 15 some of u might say illa wat a bit...x'ageb...and some might say *cough* whore *cough*..i dont rlly care..past is past..and for me it was too much especially since out of those only 4 were actually boyfriends of guys i was dating...but enough gossiping buot myself..i just wanted to give u a picture of how i was ok..emfesise on d WAS!!! lol..any hu by d time s.s came around i realised wat i was doing wrong and prevented it hehe...until my next bf came along..and i must admit..compared to a normal bf i did restrict myself which is a very gud start i personally think...but anyhu..recently ive been going into getting off being d centre again...but i havent taken any action to it yet,..which i intend on NOT doing..and infact instead ive been discovering wat a kiss should rlly mean..and not in d way like u get those chain emails xD like if he kisses u here he means this...bla bla bla..that bull a kiss should be a sign of love...and it shouldnt be wasted on some random excesse hormoned guy u meet in pv...or girl for that reason..cos i forget that guys read this too xD....a kiss to an extent shouldnt even be given to a guy ur just dating/seeing..i mean i think a true kiss should be saved for a bf that has become ur best friend...and should be given at a perfect time and not just at a very romantic and one thing im proud of is that every 'first kiss' ive had with a bf has always had a senes of romance in it...guys a kiss is a gift from God to show a person that u love them...and not some guy in pv that u want next time u htink..uff i wanna get off!! think of my post and say patient..jesus is preparing some1 for me..i should save this for them...and for all those lip-virgins XD out there dont fret!!! and dont waste ur first patient..guys i rlly believe that God is preparing soem1 out there for each and every1 of us...and i mean seriously preparing...making them either into a gentlemen hu will treat u like a princess or a tru woman of God who will protect u in everyway she knows how...
basically i wanna say that ive decided to calm down on everything atm and i wanted to show u how God is showing me new things threw my singleness and im rlly appreciating them..and sharing them with u took GUTS to say wat i sed ok!!
Signign off with kissable cuddles and blessings :P

Sunday, February 10, 2008


Hey guys..well im suppost to be studying German atm but i rlly dont feel like!! grr...i start MOCS tom...bleh!!..anyhu...well...lets talk bout my weekend shall we?...fri was rlly boring..d only fun thing was talking to Zoe on d fon for like a long time hehe..luv u pupa...sat sucked big hairy was suppost to be a rlly gud day and every plan made backfired, well another lesson learned from:

"we make plans but the Lord determines our steps..."

it happens to me quite alot actually...i got that quote a few weeks after i converted and i always use it..its quite not in d best of moods at all guys...i actually think im going out a bit for some fresh air..maybe go meet jean and joe on their date xD this is how i felt last night hehe... but interpret it cos its not so easy to realise hehe

something struck me yest at. y4j..u no d talk of GO FISH...d dude said that...eventually everything there isnt a point in caring bout anything of d world...and that can be taken in such a depressing way hehe but it makes sense..we should b constantly praying to get close to God and not ask God for things u no? i think sometimes we can all be pretty selfish..and im d first person to be this way believe me..guys we rlly need to focus on God and he will just move us we r a baby in d trolley and God is our dad pushing d trolley hehe..just enjoy d ride guys and dont get off and push d trolley ur self cos a young child always finds it hard to stir d trolley in d right direction...hope u understood me..hehe..sry that just came to mind know hehe...anyhu..i wanted to leave u with this video..its from d community weekend..its bout this guy hu spent 23 minuted in hell..enjoy... this is d second part..if ur interested go search for d rest on youtube

Friday, February 8, 2008

Diamond in the Rough...

hey guys..
so..let me introduce my poem...i wrote it during a quiet time near some of my cell grp after digging at d BIG DIG and well i have been too lazy to post it but finally found some time here it goes :) hope you like it...oh btw this came to me as i was looking at d only marble i found hehe..the title is d name of it..

Trying to reach the surface,
Trying to find my purpose,
Not knowing what I'm gonna find...
Praying the sun will be kind!

This is me,
It's who I'll be!
I'm scratched and dented,
Full of bubbles of tears
but too scared to show my fears...

People step on me,
Not realizing I'm there...
Have you dug deep enough?
Did you realise I'm in the rough?

You see a shiny
piece of me.
Could this be it?
Am I free?

You pick me up.
Your hands shaped like a cup,
Rub off my dirt...
This is my new birth!

He found me!
Could I really be free?
I'm his diamond in the rough...
And in His eyes I'm more than enough!!

Signing out with shiny cuddles and blessings!! xxx

Tuesday, February 5, 2008


hey guys

this is gonna be my longest post ive decided :D hehe..well i want to start with a big thanks to GABRIEL for fixing my comp :D so now i can blog all i want i can read my emails and do updates and everythign normally on my comp :D YEY!! im so happy ive been updating since last non-stop hehe
anyhu...d weekend was amzing i rlly enjoyed it :D i was rlly dreading coming thinking..uff im gonna feel all new since i havent been to community since december and stuff and i will feel awkward singing on worship team and stuff but as soon as i entered d topaz and i saw those first faces of friends i thought to myself "im finally bk home" u guys rlly made my weekend extra special i rlly appreciate it :D...d 60-70's night was just hillarious :D if any1 has some pics of it i want them!! i must say that d outfits were out of this world!! and i laughed so much!!! with mc hammer performer to beetles to nerds and greece ppl and all those hippies and 60's ladies just hillarious!! :D THANKS FOR AN AMZING WEEKEND GUYS!! and a BIG CLAP for JESUS for all the amazing things He has done through that weekend :D can i tell u guys? im so sore atm lol i dunno y but d weekend rlly strained me xD and man i rlly sang my heart out...its so weird i was rlly annoyed with some of d songs sung cos i was like "oh no not this again" kinda thing but i still gave it all i had and its so cool cos on sat i was hearing myself on d amp. and i was like wait ta thats not me :S and then i changed a lyric on purpose to c if it was actually me and it was! it was so fun man my voice had changed some how...from my actual voice till it reached d amp it was like changed :D XD anyhu..enough bout d weekend...we continue..sry sar couldnt resist putting that pic :P

Anyhu..on to monday :D..well monday..i woke up late...rlly late xD and i went shopping for shoes which i am about to do again after i finish this post xD and d most imp. part of monday was d Y4J CARNIVAL PARTY :D

i was rlly annoyed at first cos i was going late and leaving early but i rlly enjoyed it :D and u know wat i was? i was a CANVAS hehe and d pics ur seeing are wat drawn or writen..u c i took one of mig's old shirts (cos im small and i neded a big one) and i took my higlighters and permanent markers and every person i sed hi to i told them to write/draw on me and it have some rlly cool pics :D so im rlly loving y4j's imagination..

i rlly enjoyed myself...from rob and glenn's experiment that back fired to chasing bob xD to secrets :P and spilling coke on Rache and saying "melting" several times xD and staying still every 5 mins so some1 could write and of course pete constantly trying to write on me xP i rlly laughed and enjoyed it and i must say d best costume must go to brooks!! i mean come on look at him! isnt he hilarious?!?! lets continue shall we? wen i got home that night i find a pretty note on my desk from Gab telling me he fixed my comp :) hehe and thats wen i started updating hehe :D..guys be grateful for ur internet :D today at around 11 me and zoe went up to jc to meet Bob and Rache cos they had lots of free' was so fun :D i also met up with lots of ex form 5's and other y4jers :D hehe it was so fun..i also found out that joe went and played with his digeridoo there too xD with jean hehe..i was gonna go to sok with bob but i had to leave half way through d lesson so i ended up going out with debz abit and met mc while talking hehe..guys they have an amazing chapel!!! and their food smells just dying for 6th form seriously!!! and now i have doubts bout dls cos i rlly like jc..ah! issa we c wat d BIG BOSS wants hehe
now i must leave u all as i must go buy shoes :D hehe tc everyone!!

Signing out with extremely long posted cuddles and blessings :D

Friday, February 1, 2008


*relief* i can write this post as long as i want on achie's comp :D hehe
well i want to start off with a HAPPY BDAY to achie,bob nd mig(my bro)..too many bday today...
also i want to add that life has been so hectic these last few days!! AHHHHH!!! mocs coming up soon on d 11th...but this weekennd is all about relaxing and having going to d MARANATHA COMMUNITY WEEKEND...ill be bunking with lara, angie and ester...should be fun ^^ hehe although i promised my mum id still study so im getting some past pprs and my physics file along xD was such A finished at 12 cos d younger forms have mid-yearlies....our classes went as usual..d only diff. was that instead of 9 lessons we had 4 lessons...d first to 2HR long and d other 2 were 50 mins...not so bad...during d science lessons we did our practicals..guys i have 14 marks in d bag for chemie and 13 for bio xD be proud :P lol

well i put this video cos it was d next best thing..i actually wanted devotion but i didnt find it on youtube so i put this ^^ hehe hope u enjoy...
so today i was making achie's card and i was thinking of like how long ive known her and looking bk at life and much time has passed...and till now i still dont regret anything ive done which is awesome...cos d thing is my 2 motos of life or combined..and they go like this
"dont regret anything in life because everything happens for a reason"
and ive always thought and wondered about d day wen i actually say i regret has to be something rlly regretable for me to regret it and thank God till now nothing that bad has happened yet :D
hehe..anyway i should go now...get last things ready for d party tonight
:D hehe

Signing off with devotional cuddles n blessings xxx