Chapters, Books and Screen Plays turning into Scripts

so...

I'm trying to close a chapter in my life but hv no idea how to write the ending;

tbh im not even sure if i should end the chapter or just plainly end the book, to just let everything go. Start a new book and just play a new character.

All I know is - i want to start a fresh.

I want the excitement of life to come back to me.

I want to take off that old dirty mask and just leave it on the table and pile the new pretty yellow costumes ontop of it.

I want to leave the drama of the old book in the old book and never have to bring it up again.

I want the bring new friendship through the characters and dust off some of the old ones.

I want to project my best features and leave the horrible ones to be eaten by the mice backstage.

I want to go out there and show everyone the best that I can be.

But most of all I want to reflect the Son.

The main character in my script.

I pray He'll always be the main and never in the wings (unless he has a quick change XD)

and yes...i no my book has turned into a script but what can i say...I'm a performer ><

Signing out with theatrical blessings and cuddles xxx

20 things I learnt under the knife...

1. Ultrasounds are cooool!

2. It can be really hard to find a surgeon on a Friday night ><

3. "O.k you're going to feel a bit sleepy soon"

"how long will it take for me to feel...woooooo zzzzzzz"

4. Morphine is my friend ^^

5. I shiver frantically for an hr after surgery.

6. I realised why they ask so many questions before surgery.

7. Anestesia is not my friend ><

8. Learnt how it really feels to actually really throw up water xD

9. The gown they give you is actually quite comfy.

10. Drip = Bessie <3

11. 2 injections + 1 arm = MASSIVE YELLOW,GREEN & RED BRUISE ><

12. Pissing the food that Bessie gave me gives a smooth feeling.

13. We really use our abs more than we think.

14. I do not sleep well unless I'm on my side.

15. If you don't eat and keep your food, the hospital will not discharge you 0.o

16. My friends have officially seen me at my worst.

17. When something internally touches your abdominal area, your intestine's shut down.

18. They encourage you to fart after surgery xD

19. When you look dead and beaten up, your baby cousin will be scared of you ><

20. All that pain for a 5CM appendix ><

oh and...when they see free fluid running aorund in you abdomen...your screwed xD

Signing off with surgical cuddles and blessings!

Yellow flowers and Blue rainbows

I'm sitting here,crouched.
NO! what did we say...postive things only...dont mention your pain ><
Fineeee, so..im sitting here, listening to disney songs and realising that i have asolutely nothing to do.
What did i just say?
Meh...
I have decided to try get my positiveness back and be me again...im finding it kinda hard cos im used to d negativity..and feelign sorry for myself. *and zip-a-dee-doo-dah just came on xD*
But like I've realised that the more negative you are about the negative things going on in your life the worse your gonna make it you no?

-ve + -ve = double -vitiy

+ve + -ve= neautral action

so in actual fact its always better to try make soemthign positive even if you feel its impossible.
Now I started reading a book Steve gave me its bout positive thinking and I know that will get me back on track =) and look I'm already getting there..
I really wanna genuinely thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for keeping me in your prayers and wishing me better and coming to visit me and sending me sms or fb messages or phoning...anything and everything helped so much =) I am honestly truly grateful for my friends..and I must admit that even though my whole bday was a fiasco....my friends still managed to make it special and i am eternally grateful for ALL OF YOU!

Next blog will be all about my freaky experience in a hospital...i might just vlog it =P XD
IF..your lucky ;)

Signing out with massive individual cuddles, blessings and smushes! <3

Shrug

No..I don't need special hugs. Tbh I don't really want hugs at all at the moment.
Wow, my Blog has completely turned pessimistic.
Hmph.. I think I've lost Kai.
Incedible, how since my Bday nothings really gone my way.
Bleh..is the word I'd use to describe how I feel atm.
Interesting, is what you feel when you realise that you've put on a mask.
Sigh..there isn't much to undersatnd here.
Happiness, hasn't been in my vocab for a while now.
Sadness..has.

I don't really know what's wrong tbh I'm still trying to figure it out..

But till then...


I'm out

i mean SERIOUSLY?!? can my bday GET any worse?!

bleh..this is a rant so if your not in the mood of hearing me being emo then im warning u to just shut the window from now >< ok so I knew my bday wasnt gonna be anything special but i didnt think it was gonna be BAD! so..lets start shall we?
Sunday Lunch
my mum being d sweetherat that she is tried to organise something for my bday with the family and stuff but no1 could come..so we sed uwijja well just go c my nanna instead and well get some sushi take away..wat happens? the sushi place doesnt open for sunday lucnh..so we sed ok lets try chinese..same thing...so we ended up with a pizza..ok np..until the pizza isnt rlly gud and its given me a bloody tummy ache >< so im not gonna enjoy any cake for the rest of the day

Let's Talk about Cake
So my mum wanted to make me a prety cake...once she starts making it the mixer explodes so ye...store bought cake it is >< i mean come on..do u believe it?! XD

Saturday Before
This was the day wen everyone was telling my mum that they couldnt come for sunday lunch so my moral was already low. once the evening came along I had my uncle's retirement party so i knew i wouldnt be going out so i sed ok..lets just dress up and hv some free alcohol. At the party my mum tells me i can leave a bit to go c my friends..ok sounds gud..enjoy some of my bday weekend with my friends...that should be gud right?! WRONG! i hardly even spoke to some of my friends..some ppl just pissed me off so much that i just left. So i went off with Matt...what happens? i get the most crushing news in the world..so ye my night is fucked..cant be salvagged.

Friday Night
so the plan is to go out with my friends and have a night out...but wats this?! whats been invented..SAC FEST! perfect..all my friends are there and im stuck at home alone..ye perfect..atleast Hillary came for an hour and we talked..i admit..that was nice :) - 1 good thing *woot*

Future?
So tom. the actual day which is suppost to be all perfect...i hv to spend my day in my room studying pure maths for my exam the next day. But wait! thats not the only part of it! I cant even celebrate my bday next weekend...do u know y?
Beer olympics on friday..also..youthful worship..and of course Sat and Sunday i hv two whole days of work...so yes ofcourse..i hv so much time to actually meet with my friends and get a little extra love...IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!?!

-.-'
Conclusions..
So besides all this i find out one of my relatives might not make it to next week.
They found cancer in 2 of my friends relatives.
I lost some1 i really love.
MY cousin went missing this morning.
My wellies arent coming for yet another month ><
I have so much to think about that i cant even study anymore so im gonna fail!
Oh ye..and i cant take the course i want cos of the screwed up maltese system..so yes..no future now either?!
pls note there is more..but cant be mentioned cos its personal..

ye...im not signing out with any cuddles or blessings...just a quick note...do NOT mention anything to me this week unless its positive..i dont want to hear it..i cant take it anymore!
I DONT WANT ANY HAPPY BDAYS COS IT SURE AS HELL AINT HAPPY ><